overweight as a business plan?
I’m beginning to think that the office is seriously trying to make us fat. If we can’t move to get away, maybe we’ll take more calls, right? It started off with “healthy snack day” on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I can get behind the sentiment, even if the execution sucks. I’ve expounded on this before, but it bears repeating. Breakfast bars, fruit bars, oranges, apples, and “low fat” yogurt. Of course, “low fat” means “added sugar”. All of the “healthy snacks” are loaded with sugar, even if the real fruit has added fibre.
Then it was “not so healthy snack day”, which is Wednesday. This is what we’ve started calling it…they’re all baked goods. I can understand the office wanting us to feel a warm fuzzy for a job well done, but even the toughest among us crack under the strain of resisting banana bread and bran muffins. With blueberries. Damn them and their crackalicious sugary-ness.
Today we reached a new low of “healthy eating”. Again…the culprits meant well. Apparently our call center was “most improved” this year, so as a reward they popped for lunch (hmm…maybe we were so fat we couldn’t move past our desks, eh?). The mandate From Above was that it had to “be healthy”. Here’s the menu:
- Subway sandwiches on Brown Bread. Choice of Veggie, Veggie Patty (fake chicken-flavoured tofu), or Roasted Chicken Breast
- Low-fat Yogurt
- Cranberry Juice
Now…on the surface, this sounds healthy. “Everyone knows” that Vegetarian is healthier than Carnivorous. “Everyone knows” that fat is the enemy. “Everyone knows” that fruit juice is good for you.
Unfortunately, it all breaks down to sugar. That brown bread bun? Sugar. The yogurt? What did they replace the fat with in order to keep it tasty? Sugar. The cranberry juice? SUGAR.
I tried to explain this to management, but they were starting to look at me like I was the oddball in the room. I stripped my “roasted chicken breast” and the assorted veggies off the sub bun, vetoed the yogurt, and chose a bottle of water that I spiked with a bit of Crystal Lite.
…of course, that doesn’t explain the bran muffin earlier in the morning but hey….baby steps.
Now…what I’d like to know…is why, if our butts are getting bigger on the “healthy” food, why can’t we have a diet support team at work? One of our supervisors has apparently been lobbying for it, but nothing ever seems to get in motion. Maybe we’re more productive when we’re fat?
