Dear Major Computer & Peripherals Company,

I’m sure this was not your intention, but I’d like to thank you for the inordinate heat that your laptop batteries put out. The laptop I have is a few years old, so I have no doubt that you have since fixed what I am now calling the “hot water bottle effect”.

You see, after spending yesterday alternately sleeping and throwing up, running a fever, I was feeling rather chilly.  No problem!  I grabbed my laptop, settled it on my torso, and bam!  Instant hot-water-bottle effect.  With built-in entertainment.

Now I just have to hope that when my years-old MP3 player starts acting up, it will make an adequate hand-warmer.  I may have to find a second for the other pocket…

Regards,
Me